My Sin

All I hankered was to study and teach,
Thus waited for you, my father, to share this dream,
How I wished you would relent this time,
But now you threatened to smolder me alive,
Do you abhor those lessons of humanity that I aim to propagate?
Or whom you call your pride should have no worth of own
O God, what sin did I commit?
That I don’t even have the right to dream!

You always got a better share than I, my brother,
Parents love, freedom and praise has always been your prerogative,
I promise I tried my best to preserve your respect in the village,
But it was those vicious hooligans who raped your respect.
Then you deemed me distrustful and slashed my nose
Left me in the fields where I writhed and wriggled,
O God, what sin did I commit?
Who to ask for justice? Where to look for hope?

In my fancy, my companion, I wished you will be the elixir of my pains
Wrenched heart, haggard face, wrinkled strength, torn clothes,
I toiled hard in the sun doing your part, not coveting your comfort,
Our children wailing kept me on my toes, to allay their hunger,
A battered slave at your whims, but you blamed me of insolence, while I never protested,
In your outburst, threw acid on me, burning all my hopes, scathing my fantasy,
O God, what sin did I commit?
Will these wounds on the soul ever heal?

O God, what sin did I commit?
Why do the courts always decree against the innocent?
O God, what sin did I commit?
My innocent sin that I yearned for life!




Zainab Belal